Brothers Scully
by Fictionnaire
Summary: The Scully Brothers decide to talk about Fanfiction.


Brothers Scully

_**Brothers Scully**_

_Alright, so I'm bored right now._

Bill and Charles sat in the room and Charles tapped an imaginary glass panel, "Tap, tap." He said, "Hello… Are all you fanfiction writers logged in?"

"Why do you insist on pretending that they can answer you?" Bill was annoyed, "They can not answer you."

Charles shrugged his shoulders, "Makes it easier to talk to." He laughed, "You realize how crazy it looks? Two people talking to thin air. People will walk by saying, 'Man they gotta be crazy."

"Anyway enough of that." Bill said, "I'm sure the people of fanfiction want to know more about us and not watch your stupid antics."

"Stupid?" Charles challenged, "You're an asshole. You're such an asshole."

"At least I was around when my family needed me." Bill shot back, "Where were you? Always gallivanting around in another country… Isn't that right?"

"Hey at least writers in here all seem to like me." Charles said, "Look, they really hate you."

"You son of a bitch. –" Bill cursed, "I ought to…"

A third person cut him off, "Play nice you two." Fictionaire said, "You really don't want me to Gibbslap you do you?"

"Gibbslap?" Charles and Bill asked in unison.

A smile crept across Fictionaire's face as he stood behind them, raised his hands and smacked them on the back of the head, "If you two don't behave, the Gibbslaps will get harder and harder until you two either start being civilized or you two are knocked unconscious. You got it?" He was met with silence which he took as them agreeing, "Good. Keep it in mind. Hello all you people on Fanfiction. And special g'day to X-Filer. Now behave you two."

"Well…" Bill said, "Ok. People have written me as kind of harsh and a little hotheaded with a little bit of a temper."

"A little?" Charles asked, "Ha!"

"Shut up." Bill said, "Now, I will admit to it to a certain extent. I'm that way because somebody has to be the family protector. After father passed on, I was in charge of this. When things go wrong, I'm the one who picks up the pieces. I'm the family rock. I'll gladly do it anytime but if I foresee that someone is going to hurt someone I love in the future of course I'm not going to accept them with open arms even if everyone else does." Bill leaned forward, "Even if it means being disliked by all you guys. Come on if you're me wouldn't you do the same?" Bill let out a quiet chuckle, "No of course you bloody fanfiction writers won't… You all have a thing for Mr. Mulder. You're all as crazy as he is."

"Don't listen to him all you people in there." Charles said, "I don't think you're crazy and I really don't think he's that much of an asshole."

"You can't swing both ways Charlie." Bill said.

"Hey!" Charles said, "I know what you're implying. That's uncalled for."

"Well you haven't had a steady relationship with a woman in so long." Bill said.

"Shut up!" Charles shot back, "Maybe they are right you are an asshole." His voice was raised.

"OUCH!" They both cried out when Fictionaire smacked them both on the back of the head again, "I warned you two… Keep it civil!"

"Anyways… While I admit that I haven't had a steady relationship in many years." Charles continued, "It's a bit hard to… As Bill so elegantly put it, I spend a lot of my time overseas working on naval exercises. But my eyes are always open." Charles smiled, "But what relationships I have had, some hadn't worked out. I think you people in here have really captured that aspect."

"The aspect that you're a loser?" Bill said it as a joke but Charles didn't see it that way and instead Gibbslapped him.

"That's it." Fictionaire said as he came into view again. But before he could carry out his promise this time, Bill grabbed hold of him, "Hey! You can't do this."

"Can't we?" Charles lined him up and punched him in the stomach twice.

"Man, that bloody well hurts." Fictionaire said, "You can't do that."

"Yeah?" Bill said.

"Yeah." Fictionaire answered, "Watch this?"

Bill had a look of horror on his face when he looked down and noticed that he was wearing a pink Tutu, "Whoa." He exclaimed, "You can't do that."

Charles looked at himself and realized that he had no arms, "What?"

"Well… Now you're completely 'armless now Charles." Fictionaire said, "Are you two going to be good now? Or am I going to have to do something to make you feel really uncomfortable."

There was a sigh of relief as the two brothers were now back to normal and sitting back in the chairs, "Where were we?" Charles asked, "Right… I always found it hard to settle down with someone because I'm constantly out at sea." He explained, "But I really love the ones you set me up with in here."

"Must admit…" Bill said after thinking quite a bit, "Christi Doggett was hot."

Charles laughed, "She was my favorite actually."

Bill nodded, "So what have they got planned for us in the future I wonder?" He added, "Hope I get a cool car."

"Hell, I hope I settle down and have lots of kids." Charles said.

"I hope you get to spend more time with the family." Bill replied, "It's hard being the rock of the family."

"I hope you stop being such an asshole." Charles laughed, "It's hard being the nice guy… Oh look there's another story. Right there… Click on that." He pointed, "That sounds like a good laugh."

"Ok you people." Bill said, "It's time to say goodbye."

"Bye fanction people." Charles echoed, "Bye fictionaire."

"Bye Charles…" Fictionaire said, "Oh and Bill…"

"Yes?" Bill looked down and realized he was back in the tutu, "Hey."

"Bye."


End file.
